What is Solution Minded Parenting?
A solution minded parent is seeking for solutions. You see, with solution minded parenting, we’re not focused on the problems. A solution minded parent knows that when they’re focused on the problem, guess what happens? They expand their experiences on those problems. So they seek for solutions, knowing that there is a way out. They move from the fixed mindset to the growth mindset believing that anything is possible. The change can happen. The great expectations that we are expecting and we desire to have, they’re valid.
A solution minded parent is not embarrassed to seek for help. We don’t have all the answers. So it’s wise to seek for answers because we want to get better. We want to have a better relationship with our children and grow with our children.
A solution minded parent doesn’t compare their children because they know their children are all unique. You can have two, three children. They’re all very unique.
So the solution minded parent doesn’t see any reasons to compare their children.
Another thing I love about the solution minded parent is that they don’t stick to only the things that they’ve known from the past or only the parenting habits they’ve known from the past. They’re open and willing to want to learn on helpful parenting habits. They’re open and willing to relearn. And that’s what makes them stand out.
Another point I have is a solution minded parent focuses more on relationship over rules. I’m not saying that they don’t have rules in their homes. But guess what, because they focus and they pursue more on building the relationship and nurturing the relationship, the rules become easy to follow. The rules are easy to follow. They’re easy to negotiate. They’re easy to evolve.
As our teenagers get older, the solution minded parent is focused on the positive outcome and t is not thinking about all the mistakes that have been made in the past. We all make mistakes in life. But a solution minded parent is looking forward to a better day, is looking forward to a better relationship, and is looking forward to a better experience.
Disadvantage of not being a Solution Minded Parent
1. We complain a lot about everything. We complain about everything that our teenagers do and everything that people do around us. We keep complaining because we’re not looking at the solutions, we’re focused on the problems.
2. Gratitude is so far from our minds. You know, when people complain a lot, they don’t find stuff to be grateful for. But a solution minded parent, because they’re seeking solutions, they’re grateful for what they do have. And that’s what opens up their minds to seek solutions. When we’re not solution minded, we don’t plan. And when we fail to plan, we plan to fail.
When we’re not solution minded, we’re not thinking of better expectations. We’re not thinking of better results. We just settled with what we were used to. We settle with the problems. We settle with the issues. We settle with the arguments. We settle and just say, “Well, this is a phase nothing can be done about it. I can’t wait for this to be over.” We settle. We should not settle. We can not settle.
3. Someone who’s not solution minded can be quite dismissive. A parent who is not solution minded can be quite dismissive because they’re holding on to the rules that they know. They hold onto the concepts that they know. They’re not being open to learn more.
4. Another big disadvantage of someone who is not solution minded is that they’re stuck in their ways. They embrace the fixed mindset. They don’t think anything good can come out of the situation. Today I want us to start thinking of ourselves as solution minded parents.
How can we be solution minded parents?
1. We’ve got to take care of ourselves mentally because we’ve got to build up some routines that help build up our positive mental strength. We can’t be a solution minded parent if we’re negative minded. We just can’t. We can only be solution minded when we are filled, when we are strengthened with a positive mindset. And this positive mindset doesn’t come automatically. It comes with practice. It comes with routine. It comes with habits and then it becomes a character in us.
We can’t give what we don’t have. So we’ve got to fill ourselves up with this positivity. We’ve got to fill ourselves up with forgiving ourselves, giving ourselves the grace to move on. I love to call it pressing the reset button. Give yourself another chance. Yes, you argued with your teenagers yesterday, today’s a new day. Always give yourself a chance. Do not settle for the past. Do not settle for less.
When we embrace this solution minded parenting, guess what happens? It reflects on our teenagers. Our teenagers can see the changes. They embrace those changes. You will see them change as well. It may not happen the first time, I must warn you. It may not happen the second time. It may not even happen the 10th time. But what solutions minded parents do? They don’t give up. You keep building those solution minded strengths, keep building the positive minded strengths and slowly but surely you will get to the points where you embrace and enjoy this parenting relationship.
And then as I said earlier on, because you’ve built a relationship, because you’ve nurtured a relationship, the rules become no big deal. The rules are easily followed. You’re open to negotiate. You’re open to evolve. You’re open to enjoy this relationship that deserves to be enjoyed.
You deserve a better time in parenting teenagers. We shouldn’t dread parenting teenagers. But we have to have the right mindset for it. And that’s what solution minded parenting brings to the table.