I’d love to remember that if your child does everything you say without no excuses, no other suggestions, no pushbacks, is always compliant, never complains, and just does everything immediately, that’s not necessarily always a good thing.
You might be saying, “But Phinnah that’s a good child”.
Yes, you are right, that’s a good child but there could be more.
Is that a good child who doesn’t have a voice?
Is that a good child who can’t stand up for themselves?
Is that a good child who has gone into their shell because they have not been heard?
Is that a good child who finds it hard to negotiate choices because they are used to just being told what to do?
Being a “good” child is relative.
Go beyond just good and nurture great children who are resilient, compassionate, kind, considerate, ambitious, courageous, team players and leaders in the things they do.
These children do ask questions. They will ask WHY. They will try to negotiate later times to go to bed. They will try to do the dishes ‘later’, They will give out opinions irrespective of whether you asked them or not. They are not afraid of you.
Don’t get frustrated at these or respond with the angry yelling (because our childhood days were different) instead teach them to do so respectfully and with consideration.
Be open to negotiating with them. Be open to having some flexibility and still have healthy boundaries.
Speak respectfully with them and they will get it. What you say will make sense and compliance will be healthier and the job of nurturing greatness will be accomplished.
That’s how we move from raising “good” children to raising “great” children.